Saturday, May 14, 2011

Facing the Native American Holocust- Histrorical trauma ending the destructive Cycle

Mitakuye pi

I am going to talk about healing and understanding historical trauma in our Native communities. This has always been such a hard topic to address in our communities, but it's one that i faced confronted and over came with in my self and my home. In my up bringing my father has been a strong stone in my life, he taught me about soberity and living a healthy life style. My father went to boarding school and then was forced to go fight for Americans in Vietnam, when America was still killing our Native people. I couldn't imagine is his pain and hurts. How he felt, about all this.

Our Native people have always been forced into this way of life. Whether it was wrong or not to the Wasicu, they did not see it as we did. Maybe they never will. But we as Native people have came so far into healing our spirits. Many Native people's lives were difficult, because they knew the truth, and that's what made them strong and stand up. Many knew that what happened to them was wrong, they knew that they couldn't carry on and continue to let their families get abused. My father was one of those people who stood up and broke that cycle of destruction. He held strong to the old ways, the traditional ways of healing. He went back to Unci Maka (Mother Earth) he cried and asked the spirit to help heal him. He faced that pain like the courageous warrior he still is today.

"The Wasicu have brought much pain" he would tell me. But are we so ignorant to keep carrying on for them? To keep hurting our selves. My father said " We have to stop this and the pain ends with you my daughter, no more he said, "your children will grow up to know a healthy home, and a loving mother, that teaches them that they have a away of life and that they can turn to that when in time of need instead alcohol, drugs or fighting each other, that they will know they are Lakota. And, that's something powerful, something nobody can ever take from you again," my father said.

Our Lakota's always knew we had to keep teaching this way of life. They (The wasicu) tried to kill it, meaning kill the Indian save the man. In 1934 they took our traditional way of practing our culture and forced in its place a foreign way of governing the people, our people had a hard time because they knew this was not our way, many of our elders from that era were influenced to walk the wrong path, many of their children came home from boarding schools broken souls, damaged from what the Wasicu's did to them. This is were the historical trauma Begin's in our homes. When i was growing up i had some what of an idea, what happened to our Nation. Well, i know now and it makes me fight harder to protect our spiritual ways for our children so they could use them to help themselves heal.

We need to teach these ways for the future generations to move forward without the hurt and pain, the time now has come that they have to move forward in good ways. The truth has to be taught, and addressed. That is how healing comes. If we keep sweeping things under the rug that's were it stays. We have to be open about historical trauma. Our ways teaches this, we have our ways, our way of life, it's something powerful. I think creator foreseen this coming, and he gave us the sacred pipe. To help us heal from this devastating Holocaust. Were are taught to understand what happened and how to heal myself from it. Healing i had to do on my own, i had to be brave. We have to have courage when facing these things cause they are so bad and painful. We often wonder why me, why our fathers, why our mothers, why our grandfathers, why our children? Why did this have to happen to us? How can i deal with this? Will we ever be able to fully address this historical trauma?

My uncle told us, that when he was in boarding school that the only thing that helped him through was praying to creator and holding strong to his ways. He said "when i left that place i never felt so free, that when i got into that train to head home i cried cause my mom and dad didn't know what happen to me, and how could i ever tell them what those horrible priests done to me, they took not only my way of life, my identity, they took my innocents as a child and introduced a dark life of pain. I went on with my life carrying that pain, taking it out on others and my children. I hit them like i was hit, i told them they were nothing like i was told, i was nothing, i hurt them like i was hurt. It was not until i went to treatment i finally was able to face myself. My uncles' eye's watered up and he cried and said how could i hurt my own children. I went back to the Lakota way after that, He said. My uncle's and fathers story is thousands of Native people stories.

This Holocaust was one of the most devastating in history and is still claim the lives of our Native people. What keeps me strong is our Lakol Wichol. I found healing in the inipi, the sweat lodge our way of life the ceremonies. I found healing in being a mother to my children the mother i never had, cause historical trauma and genocide took her, i found healing in loving myself, i found healing in being a healthy family, i found healing in being Lakota.

I have to really give some honor to my father, who was brave enough to stop or end the vicious cycle of destruction that troubles our Native nations, he had the courage to tell me about what he went through, and he used his fear and a positive tool, to help change history, and teach us to move forward but to heal our selves first.

When i went to treatment i seen that little lakota girl sitting alone in this dark place. A place were they have held us for way to long, a place that so many of us get lost in. I went to that little girl who was lost (ME) i reached out and grabbed her hand, i told her that i came back for her, that i will love her unconditionally, that i was sorry for allowing myself to keep hurting. I held this little girl and told her it was time to come with me to a better place. And i sang her a lakota healing song and took her hand. We walked into the light and i opened my eye's and was looking at myself in a mirror, i smiled and i told myself i would do what ever i could to help others go back for the spirits that were hurt and lost because of historical trauma, facing it head on is the only way at this point to heal from it, no more hiding it, no more secrets, it's time now we hold our Native way of life close, be brave and face it.

He Che Tu ye, Autumn Conroy Two Bulls

Waniyetu Was'te Win'

Sunday, November 21, 2010

Lakota Youth Literally Fight against Genocide with the help of Coach and Mentor

Many people know the statistics for the Pine Ridge Indian Reservation. I do this blog in respects to educate and bring a voice to Lakota youth and families who have been silenced due to Genocide from the American Government. After all i do live here on the reservation and see all that goes on. Many of the times so much words can be twisted and altered to fit every persons view of our reservation life. But the prime issue all boils down to one thing the survival of our young people. Many times in tribal politics and politics period our young people's voices go unheard.

Our youth and young people are our future. As i know i am a young Lakota women with youth children. I wanted to be able to be a role model to them and other young people. I had to over come many hardships and genocide myself to be a role model. I had to step up and be a voice in a positive way. It seems as though so people don't see it that way. I had to give back to my community is some way other then just bringing in support to them. So my companion Isaac and i stepped up to start a youth boxing team. I did an interview with a youth a while back. In this interview with him i asked him why he wanted to be in a gang. he said " I like to be in this gang because i love to fight and it's excepted in our gang life, i mean i don't like to fight just anybody and it hurts my feelings when we fight an innocent person". This stunned me, it then occurred to me that we could give them a positive outlet for his passion wether anybody feels it's wrong. So we stepped up to train and find sponsorship for these young men who wanted to train and build self endurance.

We wanted to be able to help guide them with a positive out look on their life. Isaac and i reached out to some of our local youth and touched their hearts. They came to us in a good way and expressed their dreams and heart's to us. They told us that they wanted to be fighters (BOXERS). We feel that some of our youth are pushed out of the way because so many people want them to live a life that doesn't suit them. Isaac and i now train 4 awesome young men. 3 of these young men are mixed blood, part black. They had a very hard time growing up on the reservation. These young men have a very strong lakota mother who supports them with their dreams of being boxers. She pushes them to be champions. These young men have big dreams of getting off the reservation and to be successful. All they needed was someone to except them for them, and motivate them and inspire them more.

These young men have shown us that they want to accomplish their dreams. They come to training every night and work very hard. All they needed was some one to believe in them. To trust and love them. We have found a great sponsor for them. They have fights coming up soon and have been working really hard. I had to make allot of sacrifices in my life to step up for them. In stepping up for them i have been ridiculed and put down by many people for reaching out for support for them. To me they are worth it. Because their dreams are worth every stone that is cast at me. These young men deserve to have a fighting chance to be successful.

These young men had to over come growing up on this reservation with such high rates of poverty, genocide and suicide. They had to over come being different, they had to over come racism. These young men inspired me, they have humbled me to be a better role model to them and other youth coming to us. I want to honor them in a good way, by telling you their story. And dedicate this poem to them.

Within You Is The Strength To Meet Life's Challenges!
You are stronger than you think, remember to stand strong.
Every challenge and obstacle in your life helps you to grow
Every problem you encounter strengthens your mind and your soul. Every trouble you overcome increases your understanding of life.
All though it may be hard to understand.

When all your troubles weigh heavily on your shoulders, remember that beneath the burden you can stand strong,
because you are never given more than you can handle...
and you are stronger than you think. Stand strong....
With in your challenges there is your strength to over come them,
With love and support you will accomplish your dreams Remember to stand strong,
When you feel that you are alone remember there are those of us who support you and together we will stand strong
Together we will over come challenges to help you accomplish your dreams.
If you are to fall we will pick you up
It's not how much you accomplish in life that really counts, but how much you give to other.
It's not how high you build your dreams that makes a difference, but how high your faith can climb.
It's not how many goals you reach, but how many lives you touch.
It's not who you know that matters, but who you are inside.
Believe in the impossible, hold tight to the incredible, and live each day to its fullest potential.
You can make a difference in your world.

This is for our young men and i girl in our Lakota Youth Boxing Team Chris 16 years old
Morshawn 15 years old
Shamori 14 years old
Wakinyan 8 years old
Ohiniyan 11 years old only girl on the team YOU GO GIRL!!!

Much love and respect to these young people for stepping up to accomplish their dreams and over come genocide, oppression. And all the hard work and train they have been doing. But most important for being role models to your friends and other young people in our community.


Sunday, March 7, 2010

Honoring our Lakota of Life - Giving the youth and young warriors back hope to prevent suicide

As everyday goes on i feel more impowered to reachout to all the brother and sisters of the world. Our Lakota Youth are the most crucial part of our Nation. As well as all people in the Nation. I sit and wonder what people really know about our reservations beside what the American School taught them. I feel it's time to re-educate the world about our Native world as we have been forgotten way to long.

The Lakota traditions are alive and theres hope for our people. The youth and Lakota people are handling what is layed upon us the best they can with spirituality and culture. We ride our horses, we sing our songs and practice the ceremonies. The pride in their hearts is keeping them alive. But we need more than just pride to survive. As the Lakota Nations we need to impower one another. This life of being forgotten has to stop now.

In the Old days man and women had their roles they served. They had a place in the Tiospaye (Community). Even down to the children. Elders would teach the young ones. And the adults would take the time to show the young ones how to do things. We all know that we can't go back fully to the old ways. But we can still be traditional inside our homes and community with the values,ceremonies and culture.

We all know that the systems is designed to work against us as native people. It was never designed to let us be equal. Our native people deserve a chance to be heard. Our children have a right to be succesful and live healthy lives. Why do we have to leave our reservations to be succesful and have jobs? Our ancestors gave their lives to protect us. They did not want to sign the treaties as they knew they would never be honored. And we see it today, the unjustice our people have faced and still face.
And now our children are trying or committing suicide. Something has to be done if now when?

We as the people need to make a change for all future generation. This is not about war or fighting it's about living in peace and harmony with one another. It's about bringing hope back the the Lakota communities families. Our young warriors and youth don't need to take their own lives anymore. I pray that one day soon things will change for us as Lakota's. Hold your way of life close, it is ours. The creator gave it us! Honoring our way of life we can help the youth and young warriors reclaim their idenities. Through that is healing.


If i fall would help me get back on my feet?
If i am cying would you wipe my tears?
If i am feeling down would you comfort me?
If i am hungry would you feed me?
If i need a safe place to rest my head would you open the door?
If i am wounded would you leave me behind?
If the world condems me would you do the same?
If my skin is brown would you judge me?
If no one hears my cries would you give me voice to be heard?
if i asked you to show me a better way of life would you?
If needed a teacher would you take the time to teach me?
If nobody understands me would you want too?
If i am in the dark would you give me light to see?
If i wasn't your child would you love me like your own?
If i didn't understand my own pain would help me understand it?
If i messed up and hurt you would you forgive me?
If i call out for you to come for the greatest battle would you fight by my side?
If i wasn't able to fight would you fight for me, and all genrations to come?

" In memory of our brothers and sisters who took their own lives may you alway rest in peace"

By Autumn Two Bulls

Take A Stand Against Poverty & Suicide in Lakota Country

Autumn TwoBulls: Take a Stand Against Poverty & Suicide in Lakota Country join us in Calling The White House ~202 456 1111

Autumn TwoBulls: Take a Stand Against Poverty & Suicide in Lakota Country join us in Calling The White House ~202 456 1111 This is the time when my people should be treated fair and with justice. Support the Sweet Grass Suicide Provention Program here in Pine Ridge Reservation This is an epmidemic among Lakota Country please give our Lakota Youth a Voice for Hope! Follow -Up Call In to White House Tuesday March 2, 2010 Help bring a voice to the Lakota Nation in the matters Poverty and Suicide on the Pine Ridge Reservation/Contact White House To Friends, Relations and supporters., Thank you for the overwhelming response to our White House Call In last Tuesday 2/16 and again on Friday. Over the last while, you have seen and heard of the terrible situations and conditions on the Pine Ridge Indian Reservation. Again, I am asking you to come make your voice be heard.Last Tuesday all of you overwhelmed the Comment line 202 456 1111. On Tuesday, March 2, 2010, please take the time to call in again.We need to keep this subject on the President's "Radar" and this is a way for us to be heard. Tell President Obama of the awful conditions facing my people here on Pine Ridge. Tell him the Oglala Sioux Tribe Declared a State of Emergency on Suicide in December Remind him of the promises that he has made to the First Nations/Native American people. Promises waiting to be fulfilled. When you call the comment line tell them about the grinding poverty rates, the 80% unemployment and the desperation that is leading so many of our people and youth to commite suicide. We are asking that Aide is brought to our Lakota Nation in these matters.

1: When you make your call, please be respectful

2: State in your call Why you are calling, i.e., Suicide and povertyon the Pine Ridge Reservation, etc

3: State that you would like to know what the President can do about this.

4: Remind respectfully that the President made promises to the First NationsNative American People during his campaign.

Help us to be heard again, we've only just begun use our voice. Together we can make a difference for the people. One voice together, loud enough for the President to open his mind and his heart to my people, the Lakota Nation of Pine Ridge Reservation. Please begin calling during buisness hours which are 9am - 4 pm Eastern time.

Keep calling and emailing all day. I am so grateful for the support in this effort to help Our Lakota Nation be heard. Lets work together as one voice Pila Unyape, Wopila Tanka Echichiyape Respectfully, Autumn Two Bulls Oglala

Lakota of Pine Ridge South Dakota PHONE THE WHITE HOUSE: 202 456 1111 Faced with rash of suicides, OST President Two Bulls declares an emergency In an emotional appeal to the people of Pine Ridge Indian Reservation, Oglala Sioux Tribe President Theresa Two Bulls declared a state of emergency Thursday in the face of overwhelming numbers of suicides and suicide attempts on South Dakota's largest reservation. _________________________________________________________________________ Here is a video which will break your heart. Please understand that your great Nation, the United States has failed to live up to the legally binding contracts that they entered into with these Sovereign Nations, and here is the result: Imagine living here now, we have been battered with storm after storm over the past months. Children, Elders, the Disabled..... Chief Teresa TwoBulls declared a State of Emergency weeks ago, as conditions have become unbearable in a very harsh winter. The White House is silent. Where is the HOPE that President Obama has promised? Where is HOPE for the Lakota? Here is the President's Opening words to the Tribal Nations Conference last November. H.E.L.P. (Helping Every Lakota Person) This group

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Helping the families of the Pine Ridge Reservation
Give them a helping hand out of Poverty
This is Cassy Warriors Intreview about living in Poverty and her struggles

Cassy beaded earrings she sells to get food for her family.
Everyday i try to reach out to my Lakota sisters. I want them to know that they are not alone in their struggles. I myself understand clearly about poverty. I recently met a young Lakota lady. Her name is Cassy. She is 23 years old with 2 children. She is a bright young Lady with alot of dreams. I sat and had lunch with her a few days ago in a local place to eat. I asked her some very truthful questions about the life On the Pine Ridge Reservation. And how she is effected by poverty. So people could understand the real needs. And maybe i could get her some help. So here's the intreview

Autumn: Cassy, can you tell me with a few words how you feel about living here on the rez?

Cassy: Um, a few words. Well, i would have to say hard, strong, and sad.

Autumn: So explain why you answered those 3 words Cassy express how you feel to me. I really want other people to understand and know how you feel my sister.

Cassy: I said those 3 words becasue that's what first came to my mind. Hard because everyday when i wake up it's a struggle just to get things done and for people not to think i am a begger. Strong because i have have to be everyday to go on for myself and my kids. And sad because i wish i had a better life.

Autumn: What do you mean better life?

Cassy: Well there are some jobs here but not alot. And i do try to get jobs i tried every where here. And if i got a job in another town i need car and a babysitter. I don't have either. And i sometimes run out of food for my kids. So, i go out to sell my earrings that i make. It's hard to sell them because people here are just not intrested. And if they want to buy them they want them real cheap and they don't understand that i am trying to feed my kids. And to get the supplies to make them is even hard.

Autumn: Can you tell me how you feel about living in poverty?
Cassy: It was something i was born into. So i just except it, it's the way it is. I don't know how to change it but just live in it and do the best i can to take care of my family.
Autumn: Cassy tell me about some of your struggles. Such as things you don't have. Things you really need and why you can't get them?

Cassy: Well my struggles are never ending. Well food is a big one. And, supplies for my kids like pampers, clothes. And, i only have a couple pairs of clothes my self. Winter is coming and it's been real cold. My kids and I don't even have warm clothes or shoes. We walk every where we go,sometimes it gets hard to carry them. Sometimes i wish my kids had a better life. I mean i want them to have a better life. I just don't want them to struggle like this. When i was a kid my mom struggled like this. I remember kids use to make fun of me for wearing old clothes with holes in them. I just don't want my kids to go through that. I remember being hungry alot. So i know how my kids feel. I can't get the things i need because there is no where to get them. I don't have a job so i have no money for anything.
( We had to take a minute because Cassy started to cry)
Autumn: Cassy i want you to know that i am going to get the word out there for you. I want to be able to get help for you not to struggle so much. How do you feel about me doing this?
Cassy: I am thankful that somebody cares about me and my kids. And that i am not alone. You know sometimes i cry myself to sleep worrying about the next day. Autumn you given me some hope i hope you know that.
Autumn: Cassy is there a massage that you would like to share with the world?
Cassy: Yes, why do we have to live like this. I watch the TV sometimes and see all the nice things in the world. Which i know i will never see. I want you all to know that our struggles are real and they do hurt us. I just want to wake up one day and not have to worry so much! I just want my kids to be happy and not suffer any more!
This interview with this beautiful young lady was really hard because she was so truthful about everything. It really touched my heart and when i came home i cried because i know that their many stories like this on our REZ. So i made a care package myself with things around my home for her family. She calls me everyday now and we talk. And i give her support that she needs. She's not alone! I stand with her in her struggles. I will walk and cry with my sisters because i know their pains. I am going to do something about it. I opened up this Blog sit to try to bring awareness to People like Cassy and many others!! Please open your hearts and lay down judgement... I am not affiliated with any Organization. I am just a Oglala Lakota women who truely cares about my people.
If would like to help Cassy and her family here is some info:
Clothing: Womens XL - pants 18- shoes 8 1/2
Kids: Girl 3t shoes 7-8 if possible some toys
Kids Boy 4t shoes 9-10 if possible some toys
Hygene products: Shampoo, body washes, towels, wash clothes, lotion, tooth brushes, tooth paste
Bedding: Blankets, Pillows, sheets, kids blankets
Food: Non-perishable, Dried or Canned
If possible Wal-mart gift cards
Please send to:
C/O Autumn Two Bulls
Cassy Warrior
P.O Box 564 Allen S.D 57714
Call for more info
Wopila Tanka
Autumn Two Bulls
Oglala Lakota from Pine Ridge

Monday, August 24, 2009

Lakota Women Takes a Stand to Educate

I give A voice to those who can't or don't have one!

I am a Proud Oglala Lakota Warrior Women from the Pine Ridge Lakota reservation. I was born and raised here. I see everyday what goes on here and how much my people suffer due to poverty. And show you the strength and beauty we still walk with. I take stand and fight for my people to bring awareness about the cruel situations we have to live everyday. The unjustices the we endure. In Bringing awareness we give light to these situations. The time for Change is not near It's now! Working together we can Accomplish great things!

Sunday, August 23, 2009

The Poverty of Pine Ridge Effect Kids the Most

The children of Pine Ridge Indian Reservation are effected the most from Poverty. People in America don't quite understand the depth of the problem that we as Native Americans face. People on the reservation don't chose to live in poverty. It's something they are born into. And, the odds against the person trying to get out are high. So many children use the education systems to find a way out of poverty and oppression. The images that the world puts out about Native Americans is one of the 3. They are all alcoholics, they are rich from casinos, or they don't know we exist. Okay now were is this problem stemming from (The Media) or the main stream picture of natives. Well, i am here to tell you we are not all alcoholics. The people of Pine Ridge don't get money from our casino, and we do exist. We are the forgotten people! Why because we were written out of the American history. Why?..Because they don't want to justify for killing millions of our innocent people. And they don't want to give back stolen lands. So basically we are America's dirty little secret. But not no more! We are here and we stand strong and many support us. The majority is pro-native. And the word is being spread about how you (GOVERNMENT) keep us. And i as a proud Oglala Lakota women will not sit back and see my people suffer no more. My Lakota ancestors were proud people who gave their lives so i could be here today to seek justice for them!! Please take the time to learn the truth about our people. People ask us why can't you just get over it that was a 150 years ago. So what their saying is that STEALING PEOPLE LAND and KILLING innocent people is okay. Well, here i go again. It's not easy to get over your whole life begging taken away. And beat from speaking a language that's has been around for thousands of years. It's not easy to get over when we are still Prisoners of War... We were put on reservation as militant people. The Bill of release prisoner of war was never signed by the American government. We are still live in a concentration camp basically. So why can't the People of the world take the time to understand this? Most of the world knows about Adolf Hitler and what he did to the innocent Jews. Well that's exactly what America Goverment did to us and still is by not passing laws to bring economical development. To bring us out of poverty. Adolf Hitler got the idea of punishing the Jews from the how the American government treated Native people. I am not saying that they worked to gather, he just got the idea that's all.. So please give me feed back people let me know i am getting the message out there. Wopila Tanka Echiciyapi
Oglala Lakota from Pine Ridge